Kmee Kmee

This sound is one of my favorite, even if the thing that makes it is not! Hail the honk of The Road Runner. For those of you who are/were not obsessed with Cartoons, The Road Runner,  is a super fast running bird. I would not go into the details, lest, i would delve away from what i intend to say write here!

Of all the times i am irritated, the most of them from the past one year have been on roads. Being and riding in a dense city of Bangalore has only added to the frustration. I don’t intend to say that it is a bad city by any means (i’d rather kill myself than do such a blunder. I’m a huge fan of my city! 😀 ), but what bothers me is the slow change of driving attitude of the people while the city grew faster than any could imagine. Probably this is what is happening in other places too, where rapid development is taking place.

The attitude problems faced by me, or similar cool headed drivers tend to affect only us. And those responsible may be :

  • Slow moving traffic : These are descendants of Pluto! Literally! They are such cold drivers that they tend to make me imagine as if they are enjoying their way to oblivion. Oblivion because, I’ll be tempted to drill holes in their ears by making my bike sing 😀 . My sometimes-perverted-mind goes a bit further to imagine a peek into their personal lives and see what if one really was a slow rider 😛 ! This category includes HTVs (who think they’re born to ride on the right side of the road inside the city limits too,) Cabs and mass transit buses (who stop and start abruptly, even if there is no pick-up/drop point and take an eternity to reach a speed of 40kmph!)
  • Autorikshaws : These are probably the only creatures after terrorists to carry home such a huge load of hatred! I don’t mind generalizing them because, good ones are in a range 1:1000(0) 😀 . I think they like to show off their very selves through their vehicles’ nosey front wheels poking out of a wide butt. The worst part is that we cannot judge which way these god-damned sons of snails will turn! And 90% of the times we are wrong 😦 .
  • Pedestrians : Well, not all are sensless in this category, owing to the fact that i’m one among them at times 😛 ! But, you can find specimens, as good as the previous two categories, and worse too! The way they walk swinging their arms in manner unique to themselves, makes me feel like parading them in the same fashion on a battlefield.
  • Venus-ians : It would a blasphemy on my part if i had a girl friend and had she read this particular option 😆 . I cant stop pondering over the innovations that a few women come up with w.r.t driving! First i see someone hovering their foot above the road till they travel half a km from start. Or , the other kind who are on a constant vigilance for any obstacle in the next mile! And, as soon as they find any, the brakes screech and the vehicle is just short of crying. Thank God that i haven’t seen any Dio/Activa/Kinetic Honda/other gear-less vehicles sobbing because of their mistresses :mrgreen: .
  • The Show-Stoppers : Its a time of fashion and we cant really stop people from flaunting what they have. But, should it be done on the roads? Some crazy girls have their roles here too. At every signal, you can find them scrubbing their faces patiently within the 60 odd seconds they get. Reason – Pollution! Or, the new-to-college hunky-dory guys, who’d have performed a sathyagraha at home to get a two wheel drive. You can see them dressed in a fluorescent blue full hands tee, and (again) a fluorescent orange cargo, sporting a helmet wider than their chest and half as heavy as themselves, all for a Scooty Pep 😛 .

There might be other categories which do not amuse me as much as the ones mentioned above. It is quite a possibility that i haven’t seen many other types. However, my reaction towards all of them is the same. I wish you were all teleported to a planet devoid of roads. That way, the pollution levels will go down and some population too 😛 .

What has Road Runner got to do with this post? Well, i long for that ability to run over my irritators, turn behind, make a stupid face at them and say “Kmee Kmee” 😀 .

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41 thoughts on “Kmee Kmee

  1. 😀 :D…

    I belong to each and every category I guess… 😛
    excepty the last one… I cant do a makeover in public…hw ugly i m looking… 😦
    I even rode a autorick once 😀

  2. Dude… Traffic in Bangalore as you mentioned it is not even close to what it actually is.
    I would like to mention another reason why I would love to stop driving my bike(Which I love driving). Women in cars! 😐 I am not being chauvinistic here when I say they are the WORST drivers I can see in my lifetime. There are two types.
    1) They don’t know what the hell the brakes are for and think there are only two pedals in their car.
    2) They can’t seem to push the car more than a 35 Km/h. These could as well park their car somewhere and travel by bus. 😐

    PS: I am a guy who believes in equality of men and women. But driving is one field where I wouldn’t agree. Sorry girls!

  3. //First i see someone hovering their foot above the road till they travel half a km from start. Or , the other kind who are on a constant vigilance for any obstacle in the next mile!// LOL 😀 😀 So true. Good observations.

  4. Lol Lol Lol… I am wondering where should I put myself? Read twice for that very reason still clueless.

    Till I decide, let me answer what Anniyan has to say. I accept you not being chauvinist here but dude you really need to few whom I know. They are excellent drivers, trust me including my sister. 🙂

  5. @Oxy
    Dude, I have just generalized here. All of them are not the same. 🙂 And when will I have the pleasure of meeting your sister? 🙂

  6. and there are some confused lot who would cross half the road and then stay put for a few secs and then go back to where they were initially !!!

  7. I can very confidently say that I belong to none of the categories 😀

    I beloong to the group of people who curses such people 😛

    I remember this pedestrian was walking as if he was in a garden….I blowed horn once twice but he was too busy with his thoughts. So I when I came near him, I slowed down and shouted in his ears, “out on a walk or what” and then sped off 😀 am still proud of that incident.

    BTW U shud a category of cyclists. Have nothing against them but I hate when they suddenly change their raasta without any indications whatsoever….

  8. 😀 😀

    Well said and its no different in ahmedabad… a very good read and a good laugh too! you have driven your point without being preechy…

    But harsha, not all female drivers are bad! 🙂 😛

    And make up on road! i mean ar you serious? 😛 😛

  9. @Chakoli : Have u REALLY driven an autorik? thats an achievement! and i think make up on roads does not depend on ugliness. instead it shows your insecurity about your appearence.

    @Anniyan : Dude, i did come across women car drivers. and that night, i had nightmares! 😀

    @Oxy : i agree that very few girls/women are good drivers. why! one of my friend’s sister drives a 500cc Royal Enfield(!) as if it were a bicycle!

    @Vimal : And can i add that they are the most dangerous ones! because, when there is an accident, no one blames the pedestrian. The driver has to bear the brunt of people and at most times it may burn the pocket too. 😦

    @S : I too am proud of you! 🙂 when u find another one, honk till he realizes that he’s on a road and not on a date-walk with his dream girl!
    i wanted to include the cyclists too. but, most of the times, they do not form a considerable part of the mess. however, they too can be annoying. Thnx for adding the point! 🙂

    @Sakhi : Do you drive a vehicle? because, only a good driver has the confidence to say that all women are not bad at driving! I too agree that ALL are not bad, but finding good ones is like finding a 111yr old person – very rare but not impossible! 😀
    I swear i saw girls scrubbing their faces either when the drive or ride as a pillion, at least a dozen times! since it is not a very common event, i wanted to add the category. 😆
    (ps: plz read reply to oxy’s comment too)

  10. @Reems : The observations are practical and at times funny too! i wonder who give them licenses (it happens in the case of a few guys too! but, not as much 😀 )

    PS : dunno why, but ur’s was the only comment awaiting moderation (even as moderation is turned off in my blog.)

  11. Its always us who are at the receiving end. I once hit a stupid kid who from no where ran on the road. Had to take him to the hospital and get him back home after the tetanus and top it all, got all the curses from the onlookers.

    and personally I havent had a problem yet with a female driver/rider. Though I have read a lot about their ‘skills’ !

  12. I thought the roadrunner went, “Meep Beep!”…?
    Hehehe! 😀
    But still, you’re right! I’m trying to play the devil’s advocate and write a post on why i love bangalore traffic… Let’s see how it turns out! 😀

  13. @vimal : I pity your condition! but kids are not stupid, the parents who leave them off to the wind are stupid!
    You need to observe the female riders to know of their ‘Skills’ 😀

    @Nikhil : I know of the ‘Meep Beep’ sound. But ever since i heard it for the first time, i like making the sound as ‘kmee kmee’ 😛 thats y its the title!
    You should have a reason to love Bangalore traffic! 😀 i’ll be waiting to read your post… lemme see how much u love it!

  14. yes, harsha, i do drive vehicles… scooter, a mobike, a car, a bicycle… though not all at the same time! 😉 😛

    I wish one day i might also drive royal enfield… its a dream!

  15. @Sakhi : Cool! you do have a wide exposure to driving. Atleast, i wont be apprehensive if i’ve to pillion ride with you! 😀
    Royal enfield is my dream too! I’m waiting for a chance to try it out. Plz come up with the experience if u get a chance.

    @Chakoli : I’ve driven a scooter. lemme see if i can lay hands on an autorik!
    Now that even men too are put in the spotlight to look good, it wont be long, i guess, before we can find even men scrubbing their faces and setting their hair-do in the signals! 😀

  16. I read in one of a huge posters somewhere saying “Bangalore is in my DNA”
    Enough said!!

    “Venus-ians’ ?? Bo-hoooo !!
    Mean-o !

    About the Auto guys, don’t even mention it!!
    Last week, when I was returning from tutions, it was around 8.30 in the night. This auto guy was fully drunk !! He drove like a roller coaster !! I got so scared !!

  17. @Pri : I too read them, but i wonder u’ll find same sort of posters in other cities too… i prefer it being unique to bangalore.
    Venus-ians sounds good considering the saying that women come from Venus. And if i consider the other part of the same saying that men are from mars, i should have added a category “Martians” 😀
    The very fact that u survived a ride with a drunk autorik driver sounds adventurous! which route did he drive thru to make you feel like it was a roller coaster…?

  18. sporting a helmet wider than their chest and half as heavy as themselves,

    You know, when I started reading this post onn attitudes towards driving, I was hoping you’d talk about all those idiots on the roads who drive without helmets. I don’t mind those girls who wear large helmets, at least they are wearing them!

    What about all the men and women who don’t wear helmets because their hair will get mussed or sweaty or something equally silly? I can never understand that attitude..

  19. @Priya : and you did! am i glad to see you back after your hectic tests and the roller coaster drive!?! yes i am…! 🙂

    @Lekhni : Welcome to Su
    I know of the people riding without helmets, but most of the times they donot worry others.
    Of course it is a silly reason that people give about losing their hair when they stand the risk of losing their head! its only upto them to understand the importance of their dear life. And who are we…? just mute spectators…

  20. i dnt know how i missed it in my reader ..
    anyways superb post ..1 🙂 hilarious

    You can see them dressed in a fluorescent blue full hands tee, and (again) a fluorescent orange cargo, sporting a helmet wider than their chest and half as heavy as themselves, all for a Scooty Pep
    ROFL … !! excellent dude.. !!
    i love road runner too …
    times up1! gotta go
    kmee kmee !!!

  21. @Arvind: Thnx a lot for peeping in dude… and believe me when i wanted to take a pic when i saw such an awesome 😛 combination! its a very rare thing… 😀
    May your Honk make your irritators see a sample of Doom’s Day! :mrgreen:

  22. You should come to Delhi someday and see the traffic situation. Its really bad, specially at the Dehli Gurgaon intersection. Its hell!!!!! It took me 4 hours to reach home once when it rained.
    I agree that women are tooooo cautious while driving. Its funny at times. 🙂

  23. @Amit : 4 hours in rain should have been one hell of an experience. The prominent problem in bangalore is not just the traffic. The condition of a few roads deteriorates faster than it takes to lay them. So its a different kind of nightmare here!
    Have you ever ridden as a pillion behind a women? u’ll know the real fun

  24. @Chakoli : If they wont be considered as ‘MEN’, then it’ll be the start of Guyliner revolution. 😛

    @Sakhi : Some day will be made only for us to ride a Bullet. We shall wait for it with patience. 🙂

    @Smallstar : I am wonderful and yeah, had a very good Wednesday. 🙂

    @T : Can i know the reason behind you recommending Acme products? coz, i saw them failing every time Wile E. Coyote use it against the road runner.
    Autoriks are a bane to every motorist, truly.

  25. completely agree with you. in pondicherry we also get a new breeed TOURISTS who want to know how to get to a place by stopping everybody who goes on the road for directions

  26. Good one, Anniyan recommended this post. Auto drivers are perfect examples of road blockers. They dont have speed yet they block and run like they are the second drivers for Ferrari in Formula 1.

  27. @Moukound : Welcome to my blog. 🙂 Frequent stopping and starting by tourists can be painful if you happen to be behind them in traffic, i believe. And what if its peak season? will it be managed properly by the authorities?

    @Dinesh Babu : Welcome to my blog. 🙂 Thank you for accepting Anniyan’s recommendation.

    Since your blog ID says so, i assume u r from Madurai. Be it Bangalore or Madurai, I can’t agree better with you! 🙂 They cause so much of nuisance to the bulk of traffic that i feel like becoming some character like “Prince of Persia” and slice them off… 😀

  28. Pingback: Welcome Reader! « Su

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