Kmee Kmee

This sound is one of my favorite, even if the thing that makes it is not! Hail the honk of The Road Runner. For those of you who are/were not obsessed with Cartoons, The Road Runner,  is a super fast running bird. I would not go into the details, lest, i would delve away from what i intend to say write here!

Of all the times i am irritated, the most of them from the past one year have been on roads. Being and riding in a dense city of Bangalore has only added to the frustration. I don’t intend to say that it is a bad city by any means (i’d rather kill myself than do such a blunder. I’m a huge fan of my city! 😀 ), but what bothers me is the slow change of driving attitude of the people while the city grew faster than any could imagine. Probably this is what is happening in other places too, where rapid development is taking place.

The attitude problems faced by me, or similar cool headed drivers tend to affect only us. And those responsible may be :

• Slow moving traffic : These are descendants of Pluto! Literally! They are such cold drivers that they tend to make me imagine as if they are enjoying their way to oblivion. Oblivion because, I’ll be tempted to drill holes in their ears by making my bike sing 😀 . My sometimes-perverted-mind goes a bit further to imagine a peek into their personal lives and see what if one really was a slow rider 😛 ! This category includes HTVs (who think they’re born to ride on the right side of the road inside the city limits too,) Cabs and mass transit buses (who stop and start abruptly, even if there is no pick-up/drop point and take an eternity to reach a speed of 40kmph!)
• Autorikshaws : These are probably the only creatures after terrorists to carry home such a huge load of hatred! I don’t mind generalizing them because, good ones are in a range 1:1000(0) 😀 . I think they like to show off their very selves through their vehicles’ nosey front wheels poking out of a wide butt. The worst part is that we cannot judge which way these god-damned sons of snails will turn! And 90% of the times we are wrong 😦 .
• Pedestrians : Well, not all are sensless in this category, owing to the fact that i’m one among them at times 😛 ! But, you can find specimens, as good as the previous two categories, and worse too! The way they walk swinging their arms in manner unique to themselves, makes me feel like parading them in the same fashion on a battlefield.
• Venus-ians : It would a blasphemy on my part if i had a girl friend and had she read this particular option 😆 . I cant stop pondering over the innovations that a few women come up with w.r.t driving! First i see someone hovering their foot above the road till they travel half a km from start. Or , the other kind who are on a constant vigilance for any obstacle in the next mile! And, as soon as they find any, the brakes screech and the vehicle is just short of crying. Thank God that i haven’t seen any Dio/Activa/Kinetic Honda/other gear-less vehicles sobbing because of their mistresses .

• The Show-Stoppers : Its a time of fashion and we cant really stop people from flaunting what they have. But, should it be done on the roads? Some crazy girls have their roles here too. At every signal, you can find them scrubbing their faces patiently within the 60 odd seconds they get. Reason – Pollution! Or, the new-to-college hunky-dory guys, who’d have performed a sathyagraha at home to get a two wheel drive. You can see them dressed in a fluorescent blue full hands tee, and (again) a fluorescent orange cargo, sporting a helmet wider than their chest and half as heavy as themselves, all for a Scooty Pep 😛 .

There might be other categories which do not amuse me as much as the ones mentioned above. It is quite a possibility that i haven’t seen many other types. However, my reaction towards all of them is the same. I wish you were all teleported to a planet devoid of roads. That way, the pollution levels will go down and some population too 😛 .

What has Road Runner got to do with this post? Well, i long for that ability to run over my irritators, turn behind, make a stupid face at them and say “Kmee Kmee” 😀 .