Selling it with Sex

A woman is depressed because her body fairness is not matching the color of her face. A few moments later, she appears to have won a tennis match and guess what is focused? Her body is as fair as her face. So, when did fairer arms and shoulders start winning matches!

A bunch of women, and female counterparts of some alien race descend on the Earth and break into a skinny guy’s room just because he used an extra-strong variant of a popular deodorant. If the deodorant plays a great pimp to supply women to its users, I think it should come with a string attached that the supply of jaw-droopingly-smoking-hot women is limited. How otherwise is it possible that not even a female mosquito came buzzing into my room when I used it?

A South Indian actor is making a fool of himself when he keeps falling for women who always have two things in common : they have a girl child and they use the same brand of soap. Oh yes, the girl child stood first in her class again.

A house maid is on fire as soon as she smells a man. Err, it’s not the odor of the man really. It’s just another deodorant brand which just happens to be modest with the quantity “supplied”.

There is this brand of mango-pulp that has sold since a long time. In comes an actress to be the selling face of this drink. She simply savors the taste of the drink, but she makes it look so sensuous that I thought that she was going through phenomenal hormonal trickery which is known to happen only during intense love-making sessions. Bah! so much ado over mango pulp.

Now, the icing on the cake. No Bollywood movie seems to be complete without an “item” number. So, who are being projected as “items”?

These are subtle, micro doses of delusions that are sprinkled generously across popular media. Each of it isn’t a serious threat to bar it as obscene, yet collectively, they deeply embed a dormant stimulus into a person’s psyche.

And that is a bad thing.

Kmee Kmee

This sound is one of my favorite, even if the thing that makes it is not! Hail the honk of The Road Runner. For those of you who are/were not obsessed with Cartoons, The Road Runner,Ā  is a super fast running bird. I would not go into the details, lest, i would delve away from what i intend to say write here!

Of all the times i am irritated, the most of them from the past one year have been on roads. Being and riding in a dense city of Bangalore has only added to the frustration. I don’t intend to say that it is a bad city by any means (i’d rather kill myself than do such a blunder. I’m a huge fan of my city! šŸ˜€ ), but what bothers me is the slow change of driving attitude of the people while the city grew faster than any could imagine. Probably this is what is happening in other places too, where rapid development is taking place.

The attitude problems faced by me, or similar cool headed drivers tend to affect only us. And those responsible may be :

  • Slow moving traffic : These are descendants of Pluto! Literally! They are such cold drivers that they tend to make me imagine as if they are enjoying their way to oblivion. Oblivion because, I’ll be tempted to drill holes in their ears by making my bike sing šŸ˜€ . My sometimes-perverted-mind goes a bit further to imagine a peek into their personal lives and see what if one really was a slow rider šŸ˜› ! This category includes HTVs (who think they’re born to ride on the right side of the road inside the city limits too,) Cabs and mass transit buses (who stop and start abruptly, even if there is no pick-up/drop point and take an eternity to reach a speed of 40kmph!)
  • Autorikshaws : These are probably the only creatures after terrorists to carry home such a huge load of hatred! I don’t mind generalizing them because, good ones are in a range 1:1000(0) šŸ˜€ . I think they like to show off their very selves through their vehicles’ nosey front wheels poking out of a wide butt. The worst part is that we cannot judge which way these god-damned sons of snails will turn! And 90% of the times we are wrong šŸ˜¦ .
  • Pedestrians : Well, not all are sensless in this category, owing to the fact that i’m one among them at times šŸ˜› ! But, you can find specimens, as good as the previous two categories, and worse too! The way they walk swinging their arms in manner unique to themselves, makes me feel like parading them in the same fashion on a battlefield.
  • Venus-ians : It would a blasphemy on my part if i had a girl friend and had she read this particular option šŸ˜† . I cant stop pondering over the innovations that a few women come up with w.r.t driving! First i see someone hovering their foot above the road till they travel half a km from start. Or , the other kind who are on a constant vigilance for any obstacle in the next mile! And, as soon as they find any, the brakes screech and the vehicle is just short of crying. Thank God that i haven’t seen any Dio/Activa/Kinetic Honda/other gear-less vehicles sobbing because of their mistresses :mrgreen: .
  • The Show-Stoppers : Its a time of fashion and we cant really stop people from flaunting what they have. But, should it be done on the roads? Some crazy girls have their roles here too. At every signal, you can find them scrubbing their faces patiently within the 60 odd seconds they get. Reason – Pollution! Or, the new-to-college hunky-dory guys, who’d have performed a sathyagraha at home to get a two wheel drive. You can see them dressed in a fluorescent blue full hands tee, and (again) a fluorescent orange cargo, sporting a helmet wider than their chest and half as heavy as themselves, all for a Scooty Pep šŸ˜› .

There might be other categories which do not amuse me as much as the ones mentioned above. It is quite a possibility that i haven’t seen many other types. However, my reaction towards all of them is the same. I wish you were all teleported to a planet devoid of roads. That way, the pollution levels will go down and some population too šŸ˜› .

What has Road Runner got to do with this post? Well, i long for that ability to run over my irritators, turn behind, make a stupid face at them and say “Kmee Kmee” šŸ˜€ .

M v F

The world is calm and peaceful apparently, but how many can actually feel the tension building up in everyone’s lives? Very few, because, each one is engrossed in their own problems, solutions, happiness, comfort etc. The wars that are waged and those worth waging are not just on the borders of the country or in the skies and waters, but within the boundaries of our own homes. It shouldn’t be shocking to come across this revelation to most people, and i am quite sure of it. Didn’t get me yet huh? Then, read on…

Few of my (she)friends at WP are a rage at writing topics that concern women and their respect, modesty, dignity and other aspects which basically have the message that women are not treated properly. It appears true from a bird’s eye point of view, but can we blame only the men for this? Another friend RJ wanted to be born as a girl if he had the chance to choose his birth again. I whole-heartedly appreciate such an idea because it appears naive and stupid to most of us. This is just an example to show that men-in-general are not responsible for what women are facing now.

The rift between boys and girls was common in childhood and i had this arguement, rather a debate, in the high school. I was waiting for my turn stupidly and when i realised that i wont be given one, i barged into the argument. If men and women were supposed to be equal, why were they not made equal? Don’t you think the creation of men and women the way they are, was a secret of nature? Secondly, both were given the same brains with some mild differences. So, if they really craved for status quo all the time, why didn’t they retort in the beginning of the civilization? Did they subdue themselves just before the muscular power of men and chose to play political and love games with them? I know that i am not talking about women in general, but about those who had led to a change in the course of history and hence, resulting in the current scenario.

I strongly attribute the inequality observed to the history, because, that is where everything comes from. And for the mistakes committed by men and women in the past, the current day “empowered women” are fighting for their rights. It is bad to note that those who fight for the rights of women living in slums etc., come from an acre wide bungalow or in a car fit for a goddess. Ask them to stay in the hut for an hour and they’ll know why women still choose to be there. It is not just equality that they crave for, but a morsel of food a day, and sometimes, for a couple of days.

And lastly, coming to the most popular type of people – students, teens, tweens (or whatever!) The inequality is present here too. But in the opposite fashion. I am amazed at the stock of weapons they carry to subdue men. A smile can speak a thousand words and a tear can possibly, never stop speaking šŸ˜€ . Its available against all kinds of men and all age groups. But, they are not carried by all. If at all the technical know-how spreads among all women, we men will have to run to Mars and keep gaping at our once beautiful home – the Earth!

PS : I sincerely feel that men will have to start fighting for their rights someday. Oh God! Please let me hide beneath your cushion if it happens! šŸ˜¦