Stuck between past and future

TL;DR: I’m headed to the US for higher education and this is a story/rant/khichdi of emotions and some light headedness of flight.
I’m at the Bangalore airport waiting to board my flight to London, and then to Chicago, and then to my home for the next two years, Tucson, Arizona, US. Reminiscing the past sitting in this waiting area has brought mixed emotions to me now, just after seeing off my family members. It is hard to feel elated for securing an admission into university of Arizona as well as morose for leaving behind my whole world, both at the same time.
I will remember this moment for a long time, when I am stuck in a limbo, caught between dreams that await to be realized and the pillars on which I dreamt of them. Parents, brother, friends, relatives, cousins, life, love, work, school, college and many other chunks of memories are melting me and flowing through my mind, forming tiny streams of emotion held together by my forced, stupid will to not appear too emotional.
That being the wet and teary side of my sorry, it seems like I’m also stuck in a muddy part, between a mediocre wannabe genius past self, and an opportunity to learn from my mistakes and construct my future self. Thanks to my spectacular memory, I’m yet to figure out why I feel about my last, the way I expressed in the last sentence. So, not forgetting what happened is good place to start my reconstruction.
Talking to friends, reading stories, watching movies about it and imagining as much as I could has not prepared me enough for the plunge that I’m taking now. Nonetheless, this is a new leg of my journey, just into my 26th year of existence. (Wow!! The number makes me feel old.) That seems a lot of time, but now, 4hrs into this flight to London is seeming like forever, despite 6+ hours that I’ve to spend in this flight alone. I am not able to think anymore about the contents that I could possibly fill this post with. I’m hoping that my homesickness won’t persist longer than its duty demands to remind me of it.

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6 thoughts on “Stuck between past and future

  1. all the best for your higher studies thins will heal slowly and days will run swiftly, you will be back to your world soon πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ this airport always make one to cry, crib and will not let us to go but still we ought to πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  2. All the best ra! πŸ˜€ I’m sure you’ll do well. Emotions are what make us human; it’s perfectly okay. πŸ™‚

    Besides, I was intrigued by the title of this post. Aren’t we ALWAYS stuck between the past and the future? Just saying. πŸ˜‰

    • I guess mine was the stage of uncertainty of the future. Now it is receding.
      And I guess in moments like these that life appears to be stuck.. πŸ™‚

  3. Pingback: Welcome Reader! | Su

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