Concave to Convex via Marriage

I’d been to a wedding recently. She was my classmate in college and during those sweet times, I’d a huge crush on her feet. Yes! they were so good, I wondered if having a crush on feet was normal. Anyway, I couldn’t just stand there and be lost in my memoirs of her feet. As with many marriages, this one had a good supply of most eligible bachelors and bacheloresses exhibiting themselves. Even though my eligibility criteria are far from good, I’d an awesome time ogling at the chicks dressed well, carrying themselves well and smiling as if that day would be their lucky day.

There was this seemingly unlimited free flowing melody ringing in my head from the violins and waltzes, every time I saw a very eligible chick. Little that I know that my time would change, and drastically so! There came a familiar face, only that it had bulged considerably compared to the last time I’d seen it. Studying the approaching structure, I realized that it was not just the face, but even the body sorta had a mini explosion inside with uncleared debris remaining. She was another classmate of mine walking up to us bunch of guys. We all had the same feeling looking at her. It was evident from their faces. “Dude.. How could this happen!!”

—- snip a few minutes of catching up and chit chat —-

I couldn’t resist, “Maga, she’s at least 1.5 times fatter than the last time I saw her! And, it’s been less than an year!”

Another one said, “Oh maga, u dint know? She got married about 6 months back. See that white dumass next to her, he’s her husband.”

Me : I’m sure that he must have been smitten when he saw her last year. but now, i dont understand how she became so fat!

Another guy : Happens maga. Look at all the concave chicks around here. If you get a chance to look at them couple of months after their marriage, you’ll wonder how they’ll manage to become convex within a span of an year.

Me : Good that I did not propose to her. What if she’d accepted! I’d have become a khalasi!

So, girls bring this mystery along with them as well! I’ve seen such physiological mishaps happening earlier too. Girls having stop-in-your-tracks looks before marriage becoming fatter gradually after. As a kid I had a few neighbors who got married in quick succession. Gradually, they were becoming fatter, usually gaining prominently after every conception. But even then, it’d take at least 2 years (at worst) to blow up to 150%. What stumped me now was the speed at which it was happening. Barely a year and we get to see this. My heart goes out to all such husbands who were imagining life with a beautiful partner and getting lost in the marital bliss. But seeing warnings like this flash out sends shivers down my spine.

So, back to wedding hall, us friends got back to the chick-hunting. But this time, we were conscious about every choice we made. No body was sending out signals which would confuse the girls that we’re showing undivided interest. Every time we found an eligible candidate, we used to get into hushed discussions about the possibility of the my-wife-is becoming-(very)-fat-after-marriage syndrome.

Salient points of our discussion :
If she is chubby now, she’ll become fat later. For Sure.
If she’s running around and active, the odds of sitting in one place and accumulating weight is less.
Check out her mother. No No, dont get me wrong. We were just trying to understand the family history to estimate the possibility of a blow-up. You know, nipping the bad bud in early stages.
Check out her father also. This one is just a safety precaution. You never know whom the girl inherited more from!
Try to figure out what she eats and how much.
See if and how she is talking to people, if interacting well, whether conscious about her beauty even before other females. That way we could get an idea whether she’d take care of herself, relying on the envy that she’d generate among other “competitors.”

Before we could discuss more, (and possibly write The Book of Love part 2) we had to head back to our homes. Even though we were scared of the possibility of the aforementioned eventuality, we were content with the informal swayamvar that we were treated to.

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A Guy’s Story

Gal : Come and talk to my dad about us.

Guy : You know, if asking was the only thing to it, I’d have done it long back.

Gal : What do you mean? You cant ask my dad?

Guy : You think I wouldn’t ask if I was in a better position in my career?

Gal : I know you can earn good money. I have that confidence in you. But I am not in a position to postpone any plan that my father is making for me now.

Guy : I understand. But do you think I have any chance to convince your dad given my current position earning this paltry salary?

Gal : To hell with the salary. We both together can make enough money to pull us through till you gain good status.

Guy : It is easy to tell. But, it is impractical.

Gal : I thought you love me.

Guy : Yes I did. And I still do.

Gal : Then come and talk to my dad.

Guy : (Back to square one) We’ll see about that when the right time comes.

Gal : Hope it comes before it is too late.

As if sucked into the past, the guy jolts back into reality.

The gal’s birthday is a day ahead and the guy is all set to surprise her. He thinks of myriad plans to gift her and make it a day worth remembering. He browses the web, asks friends, window shops half a dozen malls and finally decides upon the gift. On the other hand, the gals mind ain’t so free to allot either time or space to the guy. She goes on with her routine on the eve of her birthday and is oblivious to the guy’s eagerness.

Things were not coarse between the two. In fact, there were times when people were envious of the pair. The only name on the gal’s lips was that of his, and on his, her’s. Except for the gap between the transmission of a text message between their mobiles, they were inseparable. Like all the fairy tale stories, love seemed to be blooming. Both were aware of the consequences of the make or break of this wonderful phase. When something did happen, all the wonderful times culminated in the dialogue above.

As luck would have it, the guy got a plush job. With the birthday gift in hand and reminiscences of the lovable days in mind, he is excited to celebrate her birthday and the possibility of them being together, now that he has got what he wanted.

He delivers the gift at her place and informs her parents about giving it to her when she wakes up. Dawn breaks, but the gal’s parents, who like the guy a lot, insisted that he break the surprise himself. When it happened, the gal jumped with joy and hugs the guy, who was ecstatic. Wondering if all the differences would come to an end, he told her about the new job and the salary that he was expecting. Seemingly relieved, the gal tells not to discuss anymore at that time, promising to catch up asap.

But there was neither an SMS, nor a call after that.

The reason? Apparently, the guy broke the gals heart when he told he wasn’t ready to ask her parents in the past. She said, “You are not there in my heart anymore. It might sound harsh to you. But that is the hard fact and you have to live with it.”

The End.

PS : This is my first attempt at narration.

The Entertainment Age

Entertainment is a valuable commodity. You invest your time into it, to make sure you get back to the routine and the mundane, with a renewal. It adds a spark to our lives and keeps us mentally fresh, despite the absorption of our usual bread-earning schedule. I believe that we all have a good idea about what we want from this investment of ours.

I can only wonder if we are getting the kind of entertainment we are after. More so, when I see means to entertainment cropping up/dying down over time. Even more so, if the frequency increases. By the way, who decides whether the time has come for something to be born or die? Who decides what kinda things people should be subject to?

There is so much crap over there, that we are subject to it even without our knowledge. Business and money play spoilsport too. Consider this : Earlier, film prints were a costly affair and the number of theatres were less. So, whatever a producer invests, he must be able to get back amidst these constraints. What then is the way out for a healthy business? Make good movies, so that people can watch them, feel good, and tell others about it, and make the movie run for a considerable time. By this, producers can get good business, and we can get good entertainment.

Consider present day. Theatres are in abundance and mass-production of prints is cheaper. So, a big number of prints in a big number of theatres means that, the time taken by the producer to get back the money is reduced. So, the probability of producing not-so-good, average, and bad movies goes up. What is the point of high budget movies, spending money to travel across the world for shoots, if what we get to see is our precious time going down the gutter. The implications of this might not be substantial for one time. But, over a period of time I’m afraid it creates a movie-viewer’s-lethargy.

Coming one level down, the television is also being infected little by little. Every other channel you can find a ‘super-duper’ dance shows, ‘bumper-hit’ song-a-thons, etc. One reason to have so many clones is, may be, to bring out and expose the vast talent pool. But, it can sustain only till it hits the saturation point. Who is thinking about all that?

If the rate of creativity involved in entertaining people becomes less than the rate of its saturation, we have to deal with a lot of “Boredom Under Lost Love for Special, Highly Interesting Talent” (BULLSHIT).

Accelerator – My 1st Love!

Wondering if I’ve gone mad? Did I just express my love for abstract or inanimate things? Oh yes! I did. Well, its just my expressibility that is setting me apart. Otherwise, when it comes to driving, everyone will be loving some aspect of their drive. With me, Its the accelerator. THe story doesn’t end here, my friends! Read On. 🙂

There are different love stories possible based on the priorities given to a few important control systems, namely, Accelerator, Clutch, Gear, Front Brake, Rear Brake and Miscellaneous. (Includes – Honk, Indicator, Hand-Signaling, Pass-Lighting 😉 ) We can have a lot of combos and that decides the behavior they extract out of you, and your ride. 🙂

(Before we delve further, its time for that naive statutory warning cum disclaimer cum ‘I’m not responsible blah blah…’ stuff to be dealt with.
Few women can enjoy reading this post. In my opinion, only tomboyish ones can. If you want to read further no matter what, don’t blame me for incessant yawns.
Auto Trans Vehicular users (Read : people using gear-less gaadis) can stop here if you want to continue with using them. If you want to read further no matter what, don’t blame me for incessant yawns.
Finally, all these are MY observations in MY bike as well as quite a few of my friends’ bikes over the past 3 yrs of my driving experience.
Only people with adventure spirit, I believe, will experiment further, promising to themselves not to blame me later. 😛 )

Accelerator, Gear, Front Brake, Clutch, Rear Brake, Misc.
This is My usual style of driving and involves optimum use of Acc, minimum use of brakes, Honks and indicators. When none of them are in use, its just free cruise in Gear-engage position. (4th or 5th gear only!) Advantages : Max control over speed and deceleration. Braking is optimized in a way such that the engaged gear decelerates your vehicle with minimum jerks than brakes and stopping would be easier. Disadvantages : Not using the brake too often can make you apprehensive about stopping the bike. Mis-timing of events frequently causes more long term side effects like notchy gear box. Infrequent gearing can cause poor torque management.

Accelerator, Clutch, Rear Brake, Gear, Front Brake, Misc.
This was my 1st method of riding only because, I’d learnt it that way. Features include not very precise use of accelerator, more braking than in previous case, Free cruise with a depressed / pulled clutch, and more frequent gear changes than in previous case. Advantages : Less noisy ride because of increased clutch use, driver is apparently convinced that brake related security is more. Shifting gears frequently and properly can help maintain a steady torque, which ensures a smother drive. Disadvantages : Relying more upon Rear brake is good only for slowing down and not stopping fast. Frequent gearing means higher wear and tear, directly proportional to the rashness of use.

I’m game to try other ways which anyone suggests, as good as you are to try mine. 😉 But driving involves a lot more than Acc, Brake etc., to be a good experience. It requires a proper attitude towards your drive, the road, and its users.

Happy Driving. 🙂

New Year Blues

I wouldn’t call it a perfect way to start a new year this time. Nor could I call it the past three years either. Reason – exam time. 😦 Joining engineering has made this season grim for me for the fourth year in a row, and I just can’t stop complaining. Added to the misery this time was that, one subject (VLSI circuits) which was scheduled on 27th of December was postponed to 19th Jan! Reason – Assembly bypolls! 😦 I just cant stop wondering why politics affects us so much when we dont want it to.

This New Year was particularly special (grrr grrr) because, the last paper before the postponed one was on Jan 1st. What did I do on the eve? Sit with Crypto text till 11 and slept off without wishing anyone. I seemed to have answered a few calls in my sleepy state itself and people were wondering if I had celebrated the New Year by getting drunk for the first time in my life. Thankfully, (or not,) my image was too clean for the idea to become a strong rumour.

As usual, I didn’t remember what I wrote in my paper after half an hour from coming out of the exam hall and was oblivious to all the post-exam-discussions. I was too happy that 18 more days were there before I can touch books 😛 .

That apart, I went through a rough patch with WordPress when my account was suspended. I emailed to Support reporting the same and asking for an explanation. To keep calm and stop myself from erupting with frustration, I googled a bit hoping to find an explanation. 20 hours of anxiety later, I got a blank-looking message saying that my account was restored.

The only solace during the exams was the long discussion on my previous post. This was special because, I posted it 5 hours before the exam and it turned out to be pretty good, rather, better than what I expected. It was very good flexing my grey cells to answer the comments in the most ethical manner I could. Probably, the tiredness arising out of the combined attack of exam-blues and hyper mind activity before it (during the preparation phase) kept me off blogging for a considerable time.

Meanwhile, I stumbled across a very good platform for discussing blogging related issues here. I thought it would be something like the same old experiments to focus on bloggers and stuff, but I got the hang of it pretty fast and am enjoying my time there. Since it is pretty new to come, it is easy, educative and fun to speed up your popularity rating. Hope to see as many of you as possible there.

Lastly, I need to clear off an important debt. I owe my body a lot of sleep which I snatched away from it during the exams and the short enjoyment stint thereafter. Time to repay it with interest. I hope to sleep for at least 12 hours for a couple of days so that I’m relieved of the fatigue 😛 .

By the way, a belated New Year greetings to everyone. Hope this new set of 365 days entertains you with 365 types of joys, adventures and good times! 🙂