Goopplebook In the Black Box

So, my close friend online, and a closer friend offline, Manoj retweeted a post saying thus: “RT @lemay: Apple cannot do cloud, Google cannot do social, and Facebook cannot do apps. It’s like the “walked into a bar” joke for tech nerds.” Being a serial entrepreneur in my imaginary world, I couldn’t resist coming up with this cool-sounding, socially not-awkward, easy to remember name for a company that could do great in all the three.

Thus was born Goopplebook : A (as yet) fictitious company that does cloud as good as Google, apps as good as Apple and Social as good as Facebook.

Anyway, the conviction behind each of those claims isn’t very strong. It is all a fad and media magic and social engineering on the part of all the three companies to make you believe so. If at all, the three biggies are, in my opinion, struggling to get things right on their own turf. Google is starting to have apps as great as they are in Apple, Google+ is slowly permeating as a hybrid between Twitter and Blogging and Facebook apparently is struggling the most to live upto its past.

So, what should Goopplebook do right to be the next big thing, and not struggle to be relevant for a long time?

While this is the general public side of things, we would need something that serves the corporate side pretty much the same way, but being extra secure, with not-so-funky sounding name, extra boring and colored blue, black and grey. Clearly, Goopplebook ain’t a name for that! So, which are the players that wannabe social, apps and cloud in the corporate side of the world? LinkedIn (Perfect balance between hardened corporates, and wannabe corporates), Blackberry (resurrecting the dead!!), and Dropbox (well, this one doesn’t suck). So, my imaginary serial entrepreneur self comes out with a name and can’t resist from making it lame, yet catchy and apt.

Thus will be born InTheBlackBox : A (as yet) fictitious company that does the cloud, apps and social for corporates, and doesn’t suck, bore and isn’t blue, black or grey.

The Social Network of Taste

Day in and day out, we are sharing what is happening in our lives with the outside world. Sharing personal stuff such as photos, videos and audio has become a strong and silent force in the world. Why isn’t this extended to smell and taste?
Being away from home and becoming the self-proclaimed chef that I am, I’d love to share these two traits of the food that I cook with my Mom and my friends back home. But my audience is restricted to my roomies only. The poor creatures consider themselves as guinea pigs in my lab šŸ˜‰ But I think they are fine with those experiments as long as the taste buds come calling.
So, what I want is this: A Social Network of Taste. Somewhere I could share the joy of making delicious food and be able to share them with people, not just as pictures or recipes, but, as taste and smell. Unlike the abstract human senses audio and video, I understand that recreating taste and smell requires considerable hacking of nature to make it a reality. But before then, I am afraid my culinary passion will fade and I might not enjoy cooking/eating delicious food as much as I do now.

PS: Being an Indian, “delicious” for me includes variations and combinations in intensities of spicy, tangy, salty and a myriad other spices. I do enjoy the occasional sweet or a dessert, but they seldom incite the bit of the brain that is trapped in my taste buds.

Concave to Convex via Marriage

I’d been to a wedding recently. She was my classmate in college and during those sweet times, I’d a huge crush on her feet. Yes! they were so good, I wondered if having a crush on feet was normal. Anyway, I couldn’t just stand there and be lost in my memoirs of her feet. As with many marriages, this one had a good supply of most eligible bachelors and bacheloresses exhibiting themselves. Even though my eligibility criteria are far from good, I’d an awesome time ogling at the chicks dressed well, carrying themselves well and smiling as if that day would be their lucky day.

There was this seemingly unlimited free flowing melody ringing in my head from the violins and waltzes, every time I saw a very eligible chick. Little that I know that my time would change, and drastically so! There came a familiar face, only that it had bulged considerably compared to the last time I’d seen it. Studying the approaching structure, I realized that it was not just the face, but even the body sorta had a mini explosion inside with uncleared debris remaining. She was another classmate of mine walking up to us bunch of guys. We all had the same feeling looking at her. It was evident from their faces. “Dude.. How could this happen!!”

—- snip a few minutes of catching up and chit chat —-

I couldn’t resist, “Maga, she’s at least 1.5 times fatter than the last time I saw her! And, it’s been less than an year!”

Another one said, “Oh maga, u dint know? She got married about 6 months back. See that white dumass next to her, he’s her husband.”

Me : I’m sure that he must have been smitten when he saw her last year. but now, i dont understand how she became so fat!

Another guy : Happens maga. Look at all the concave chicks around here. If you get a chance to look at them couple of months after their marriage, you’ll wonder how they’ll manage to become convex within a span of an year.

Me : Good that I did not propose to her. What if she’d accepted! I’d have become a khalasi!

So, girls bring this mystery along with them as well! I’ve seen such physiological mishaps happening earlier too. Girls having stop-in-your-tracks looks before marriage becoming fatter gradually after. As a kid I had a few neighbors who got married in quick succession. Gradually, they were becoming fatter, usually gaining prominently after every conception. But even then, it’d take at least 2 years (at worst) to blow up to 150%. What stumped me now was the speed at which it was happening. Barely a year and we get to see this. My heart goes out to all such husbands who were imagining life with a beautiful partner and getting lost in the marital bliss. But seeing warnings like this flash out sends shivers down my spine.

So, back to wedding hall, us friends got back to the chick-hunting. But this time, we were conscious about every choice we made. No body was sending out signals which would confuse the girls that we’re showing undivided interest. Every time we found an eligible candidate, we used to get into hushed discussions about the possibility of the my-wife-is becoming-(very)-fat-after-marriage syndrome.

Salient points of our discussion :
If she is chubby now, she’ll become fat later. For Sure.
If she’s running around and active, the odds of sitting in one place and accumulating weight is less.
Check out her mother. No No, dont get me wrong. We were just trying to understand the family history to estimate the possibility of a blow-up. You know, nipping the bad bud in early stages.
Check out her father also. This one is just a safety precaution. You never know whom the girl inherited more from!
Try to figure out what she eats and how much.
See if and how she is talking to people, if interacting well, whether conscious about her beauty even before other females. That way we could get an idea whether she’d take care of herself, relying on the envy that she’d generate among other “competitors.”

Before we could discuss more, (and possibly write The Book of Love part 2) we had to head back to our homes. Even though we were scared of the possibility of the aforementioned eventuality, we were content with the informal swayamvar that we were treated to.

Hello Phone!

I was wondering what would be so great about having a smartphone with a fantastic OS against my trusted old micromax mobile. Well, this is it. Seamless and hassle free to do things which otherwise force me to be bound to my PC.

Presenting my first post from my smartphone.

Hello again, World!

A Guy’s Story

Gal : Come and talk to my dad about us.

Guy : You know, if asking was the only thing to it, I’d have done it long back.

Gal : What do you mean? You cant ask my dad?

Guy : You think I wouldn’t ask if I was in a better position in my career?

Gal : I know you can earn good money. I have that confidence in you. But I am not in a position to postpone any plan that my father is making for me now.

Guy : I understand. But do you think I have any chance to convince your dad given my current position earning this paltry salary?

Gal : To hell with the salary. We both together can make enough money to pull us through till you gain good status.

Guy : It is easy to tell. But, it is impractical.

Gal : I thought you love me.

Guy : Yes I did. And I still do.

Gal : Then come and talk to my dad.

Guy : (Back to square one) We’ll see about that when the right time comes.

Gal : Hope it comes before it is too late.

As if sucked into the past, the guy jolts back into reality.

The gal’s birthday is a day ahead and the guy is all set to surprise her. He thinks of myriad plans to gift her and make it a day worth remembering. He browses the web, asks friends, window shops half a dozen malls and finally decides upon the gift. On the other hand, the gals mind ain’t so free to allot either time or space to the guy. She goes on with her routine on the eve of her birthday and is oblivious to the guy’s eagerness.

Things were not coarse between the two. In fact, there were times when people were envious of the pair. The only name on the gal’s lips was that of his, and on his, her’s. Except for the gap between the transmission of a text message between their mobiles, they were inseparable. Like all the fairy tale stories, love seemed to be blooming. Both were aware of the consequences of the make or break of this wonderful phase. When something did happen, all the wonderful times culminated in the dialogue above.

As luck would have it, the guy got a plush job. With the birthday gift in hand and reminiscences of the lovable days in mind, he is excited to celebrate her birthday and the possibility of them being together, now that he has got what he wanted.

He delivers the gift at her place and informs her parents about giving it to her when she wakes up. Dawn breaks, but the gal’s parents, who like the guy a lot, insisted that he break the surprise himself. When it happened, the gal jumped with joy and hugs the guy, who was ecstatic. Wondering if all the differences would come to an end, he told her about the new job and the salary that he was expecting. Seemingly relieved, the gal tells not to discuss anymore at that time, promising to catch up asap.

But there was neither an SMS, nor a call after that.

The reason? Apparently, the guy broke the gals heart when he told he wasn’t ready to ask her parents in the past. She said, “You are not there in my heart anymore. It might sound harsh to you. But that is the hard fact and you have to live with it.”

The End.

PS : This is my first attempt at narration.